Emily Hamilton
published: 11th June 2024
spoilers? no
So, here’s the thing: Cleo and her friends really, truly didn’t mean to steal this spaceship. They just wanted to know why, twenty years ago, the entire Providence crew vanished without a trace, but then the stupid dark-matter engine started on its own. Now these four twenty-somethings are en route to Proxima Centauri and unable to turn around while being harangued by a hologram that has the face and snide attitude of the ship’s missing captain, Billie.
Cleo has dreamt of being an astronaut all her life, and Earth is a lost cause at this point, so this should be one of those blessings in disguise that people talk about. But as the ship travels deeper into space, the laws of physics start twisting; old mysteries come crawling back to life; and Cleo’s initially combative relationship with Billie turns into something deeper and more desperate than either woman was prepared for.
Galley provided by publisher
The Stars Too Fondly was a book that so perfectly checked every box of my (personal) how not to do sci fi list. And yeah, sure, this is probably another case of why didn’t you conclude this from the blurb alone. I mean, even if the blurb hadn’t signalled not-for-me-ness, then reading the first two pages definitely should have. In fact, that’s probably where I should have called it a day.
For a certain audience, this is a book that will hit all the right spots. From the second page of this book (coincidentally where it’s revealed that, in 2061, we still have TikTok, of all things), it was abundantly clear that I am not part of that audience. I will never be part of that audience. Every aspect of this book made me want to poke my eyes out with a sharp stick. You may think that an exaggeration, but no. It very much is not.
First things first: I wouldn’t often call writing bad, because it’s very much down to individual readers, I think. And then I come across books like this and I think I am absolutely justified in calling this writing bad. From the godawful textspeak (which doesn’t sound remotely like anyone would speak let alone text), to the character descriptions shoehorned into the text in the most awkward of ways, to lines like “also looking incredibly heist-chic in her black dress and leather jacket”… Yeah. Simply on a surface level this writing was bad.
I can’t say that a good plot would have saved this for me because once I’ve decided I don’t like a writing style, that’s it for the book. So, in that sense, this book was a lost cause from page one. Things didn’t improve in other areas, though. These characters are supposedly late(?) 20s, but they read like a bunch of hormonal teenagers. And, hey, to each their own, but if I’m reading an adult book I want to feel like I’m reading about adults and people with adult concerns.
On top of this, there’s a whole lot of telling and not a lot of showing. Take, for example, the found family that’s clearly being driven towards by the narrative. How do I know that’s what happening? Well, not because I’m being shown it, that’s for sure! It’s an exercise in the author being like I’m gonna hit all the sweet spots for found family and I’m going to describe them to you in detail so you KNOW that’s what I’m doing. This is just an illustration of how the entire flipping book progresses. Combine this with an annoying omniscient narrator who seems to know everything — and I mean, a question gets raised in Cleo’s POV and you think, okay, here’s something, only for that question to be fully answered by this omniscient narrator and any tension that might have been building plummets like a lead balloon — and you just have a really boring plot. Much of it, too, you can see coming a mile off. There was, briefly, a moment where there came something I didn’t expect, but it was so late in the game that it didn’t exactly have much impact. Somewhat predictably, this had a knock-on effect on the relationships (including the found family as mentioned above). Billie and Cleo’s in particular felt very weak and watery, which was a pretty big problem since this is effectively a romance novel with them at the centre.
My last gripe is more to do with marketing than the book itself. This is not science fiction. I would barely even call it science fantasy because that implies there’s some actual science involved instead of whatever this wishy-washy mess was. This book is more like fantasy wrapped up in some scientific words. But that one’s on marketing, I think. Just don’t go reading this one for the sci fi aspect.
Anyway, this all added up to a 1-star read for me that I could have seen coming from the very first few pages. One day I will learn to DNF books. Maybe.
moonraker 